It is Friday, October 18, 2013.... three days before my beta....and it cannot come soon enough. Honestly, after returning from Florida, I was perfectly content enjoying being PUPO (Pregnant until proven otherwise). I didn't even really consider taking a home pregnancy test, I knew it'd be way too early...since then, however, I've become a POAS addict. For those of you lucky enough to not know all of these terms infertile people use, POAS means Pee on a Stick....ya know, taking a pregnancy test. What all IVFers are told NOT to do before the beta. However, I am not a very patient person, I've never been good at listening, anyway. So.... Wednesday I took my first test. It had the faintest of faint lines. The type of faint where you could only see holding up at a certain angle, from certain amounts of light, from a very short distance. My husband couldn't see it at all...but--it was truly a line, despite what he believed haha. I promise I wasn't imagining things. So, after much convincing from him, I decided to wait a few more days to test...in hopes of getting a darker line...at least a line visible to the both of us. I tested again this morning....and there was absolutely nothing there. I tried everything to force a line there by manipulating the way I held the test, but no luck. Worse mistake ever, now I've turned into a POAS addict. Luckily, there's only three days left to put me out of my misery.
My IVF nurse told me to stay off google, but I can't. I'm getting mixed reviews...everyone saying 10dp3dt (ten days past three day transfer) is way too early to test...but there are plenty of others who have gotten positive. So, I'm freaking out. I honestly feel pregnant. Yes, progesterone and my other medications mimic pregnancy symptoms. But, I just FEEL pregnant...physically, emotionally, and mentally. I guess I just have so much faith, even that negative pregnancy test this morning didn't completely make me give up hope. Of course, I'm a little nervous thinking that it didn't work but I just can't let myself think that far ahead.
So, as for my symptoms for this dreaded two week wait (Just a reminder, I am completely aware that the medications can be the cause of these symptoms-- it's just good to have some sort of reminder that there's possibly a baby or two growing inside of you).
So, like I was saying, the symptoms: I'm somewhat morning sick...ish? I have to eat every few hours or I am really sick! I normally don't eat much, I never have much of an appetite. Since this is a public blog, I wont add too much TMI in case somehow someone I know comes across this site, but... for anyone interested-- My left boob has become sore-- just the left. Also, I'm having REALLY vivid dreams. I normally don't remember having dreams at night, so that's why I am counting this as a symptom... of course, it could be because I have so much on my mind.
For anyone who is going through this or possibly going to go through-- I'll give you the same advice I was given-- stay busy!! If it wasn't for work, family, and television... I'd be obsessed with google and peeing on things.... well, pregnancy tests at least :-P
So, I've texted my hubby and he's going to pick up a few more test on his way home from work... I plan to take them until two lines appear.... really, my body has no choice but to become pregnant.... I feel like this is a good plan :-)
Tomorrow I have a family get-together.... and Sunday I have the day off thanks to an awesome co-worker who needed extra hours the same time I needed a break. So, I will probably spend all day Sunday anxiously awaiting for my beta the next day and peeing on pregnancy tests until one is positive. I will probably wait to blog after the beta. Depending on how it goes and what I have to do that day, I'll post an update as soon as I can.
Here's to hoping my next post has a more exciting subject... ;-)
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